The heart's desire

Days passed in the tranquil atmosphere of the Royal Convent. Anna's body gradually recovered, but the trauma to her soul was not so easily healed. During the day, she diligently cooperated with the therapy, learning meditation, and trying to dispel the persistent nightmares under the gentle guidance of Mother Superior Aglaia. However, every time the night deepened, the humiliating memories carved by Calon would surge like a tide—clothes torn in the square, the violation of cold scabbards, the body pierced by a defiling creature in full view of the public, all sorts of crotch humiliations that completely broke her, and the previous degrading and unspeakable stimuli with her mother in the Orc prisoner-of-war camp... She huddled on the stone steps in a corner of the convent garden, clutching herself tightly, her body trembling uncontrollably. Sunlight filtered through the leaves and dappled her, but it could not dispel the chill in her heart. She felt as if she had returned to that moment when she was wantonly played with and stripped of her dignity, and shame and despair were about to engulf her.

Just then, a pair of warm hands gently rested on her shoulders. Mother Superior Aglaia had come to her side unnoticed. She did not speak, but quietly crouched down, looking at Anna with her deep and gentle eyes. There was no pity, no judgment in her gaze, only an all-encompassing understanding and care.

"Aglaia..." Anna choked out, like a lost child finding support, burying her face deeply in the nun's robe, which smelled faintly of soap.

Aglaia gently patted her back, her voice soft but with strength: "Remember, no matter what has happened, you are still the noble Queen Anna. Those pains cannot define you; they will only make you stronger."

Under Aglaia's comfort, Anna's emotions gradually calmed down. As the sun set, the two sat side by side by the convent wall, gazing at the "Tears of Hope" canal in the distance, the golden afterglow shining on the water, sparkling. Anna had never met her father since she was a child, and her mother had disappeared in the battle with the Orcs. Although she was intelligent and skilled in swordsmanship, she had repeatedly suffered setbacks in complex political struggles. No one had ever given her such meticulous care and guidance like Aglaia. At this moment, Aglaia's presence filled the longing for maternal love deep in her heart and allowed her heart, which had become fragile due to betrayal and humiliation, to find a harbor where it could dock again. She let down all her guard and gently rested her head on Aglaia's shoulder, feeling the long-lost warmth and peace of mind.

Aglaia made a decision that surprised Anna—she wanted to take Anna "out to dinner." Nuns, in her inherent impression, were supposed to be secluded from the world and detached from worldly desires, but Aglaia wanted to take her to experience the secular atmosphere, which made her even more curious about this Mother Superior. They came to a well-known restaurant in the city. The soft lighting, pleasant music, and the relaxed and cheerful conversations of the people around them made Anna feel a long-lost sense of relaxation. Aglaia behaved calmly, skillfully ordered the dishes, and even ordered Anna a glass of fruit wine. This made Anna realize that nuns were not all rigid and constrained; they also had their own lives and preferences.

After dinner, it was late. Aglaia did not take Anna back to the convent but booked a clean hotel room in the city. This once again shattered Anna's perception of nuns. In the room, the candlelight flickered, and Aglaia looked at the curiosity and exploration flashing in Anna's eyes and said with a smile, "Your Majesty, do you think that nuns should be otherworldly, like a piece of iron?"

Anna nodded.

Aglaia sighed softly, a complex emotion flashing in her eyes: "Actually, no one is born like a piece of iron. Before serving God, we are first and foremost human beings, mortals who experience pain, confusion, and struggle. I... have had similar experiences."

Anna's heart skipped a beat, and she looked at Aglaia eagerly: "Your experiences? Can you tell me about them?"

Aglaia looked at her, a hint of hesitation flashing in her eyes, which then turned gentle. She said to Sister Catherine, who was standing at the door (if Catherine had come along), "Catherine, you go back first. I... Anna and I have something we want to talk about alone." After Catherine bowed and left, the room was left with only the two of them, and the atmosphere became more private and delicate.